We Indians do love bargaining and try to pay as little as we can,especially in situations where we are in position of power,against street vegetable vendors etc. who sometimes are barely surviving on the money they have,he must be cheating us,that evil evil vegetable seller ! To me it seems that we have a fictional place in our minds where the the prices are always cheaper than what the vendor tells us.You never know as he might be trying to a build a vegetable selling empire by robbing us of our 1-2 rupee.Then at a Mall we turn into millionaires,shelling out cash faster than the ATM can say enter your PIN. no second thoughts of bargaining or being cheated there because it has a brand's name on it and they don't cheat *wink*.Well,local vendors should brand their Cauliflowers etc "exclusively from GUCCI's vegetable summer fashion line" that might help(Oh! wait do i have to pay royalty for using that name "GUCCI",hell did i use it again).
So,a few incidents (which obviously i will generalize to death) happened which made me realize that shelling out a bit of green to help someone who is doing actual work is not in our culture.We only help people, who shout God,or scare us etc and then in turn we want the God to help those in need.
While travelling from Jaipur to Delhi,it struck me that there are a few situations where wallets come out faster than the gun of a gun slinger from the wild west and a few where the wallets stick like a chewing gum in someones hair and i was lucky to experience all of them on a single journey.
In my compartment of 8,there was ,a sikh old man,I said sikh not sick,he kept muttering prayers throughout the whole journey.I imagined turning to him and saying i know you are scared but don't worry the plane won't crash and we'll be safe, as goddammit we are in a train ! A generic family,parents and 2 kids (yep the one that gets really annoying the moment you spot them in the parking lot and you just wish they don't end up on the same train) and a bunch of college students.After i was done analyzing them (new way to say, judging them) i blocked off the environment around me and started reading a book.
Out of nowhere,not exactly out of nowhere, but i was startled.A beggar appeared and screamed "SHANI MAHARAJ",on top of his voice leaving Robert Plant singing in my headphones feeling inferior to this holy man's voice,he extended his hands out to collect money.Looking at us as if we were obligated to pay him now.Meanwhile, not long before these two magic words were about to finish coming out of his mouth, all the passengers had already reached out for their wallets in that classic move that men do, i don't want to get up, so i'll do the fart maneuver to take out the wallet,so wallets were out and everyone paid 2 Rs. and as some of us, not so God fearing human beings out there would have experienced ,he stood there waiting for me to pay up. I did not flinch.Everyone's eyes leaking with feeling of disgust as if i had no compassion towards fellow human's suffering and or for God.
Taking me on a guilt trip to pay didn't work,but foolishly enough,i started smiling.I could feel them being disgusted with every second that passed.But the smile was not because of me getting away without paying (now i am the person the first paragraph of this article defined).But because in my stupid mind, thoughts like these popped up,what if i had said in a very calm voice "Atheist in the house,bitches !" (like zooey deschanel from the series New Girl) or what if i just stood up and shouted 'SHANI MAHARAJ' .Will they just take out their wallets again.No i suppose ! .So this has nothing to do with SHANI(God),or not so to being poor too and i didn't like half-hearted efforts by him and the false advertising that it is in the name of God.So no paying up the these extra charges that Indian Railways encourages.
I wondered,is it the guilt of all the evils that they have done relative to their holy teachings.So they try to wash them away in 2 Rs. by powers of SHANI MAHARAJ vested in the beggar or by taking a dip in Ganga once in every few years.The Indian way of starting with a clean slate of sins or is it compassion.And why does it goes away in situations where it is actually needed.
While all that was going through my head, a eunuch(shemale/transsexual) came in and i reckon that it was a scam between "SHANI MAHARAJ" and him/her to make every one pay.( i don't know the politically/grammatically correct way to address them) .So,he/she singles me out "Ey ! Chikne Tere Bache Sukhi Rahenge,Tera Parivaar Khush Rahega" (Ey!Clean Shaved,your kids will be blessed,your family will be blessed) the people looked at me bit satisfied,but this time around a bit deterrent to pay and avoiding eye contact. Then it happened, the event every Indian Railways traveler should experience once in his/her life. (Let's name the shemale ,Mohan) Mohan threatened me to pull up his saree and show me his dick ! (Yeah let that sink in) If i don't pay him then and there.Although i'm no stranger to a dick but to a stranger's dick ,YES ! and considering the height that we sit at in the trains,the show of dick flailing ,would have been precisely at the height where my face happens to be.Seeing this my terrified wallet came flying out to the rescue,trembling and slipped out a 10 to Mohan,thanks to my wallet's quick thinking,a life long trauma was averted.
The two incidents made me think why do we pay,is it the love of God,need of blessing or just the Fear of Dick (the latter did it for me).
After a while,I see a kid with a broom and a big plastic bag filled with garbage,cleaning the aisles first and then standing with his hands out for a brief moment in every compartment for the hand outs.But he was so fast to retract his hand and move on to next,as if he knew that nobody is paying attention. How degrading it is to not look in the eye of a person while he stands with his hands out is impossible for me to even imagine.He moved to the next and repeated the same and none of them payed.So think about it he did actual work that the railway staff fails to do on a regular basis and no one paid him,I thought i wish i could give him a sound business advice that don't work ! Just say "SHANI MAHARAJ" and they'll pay you as these fools love God and fear the dick.Although i think i saw three of them standing together later.
(After thought: does that capital g rule in English to address God applies to me or not)
So,a few incidents (which obviously i will generalize to death) happened which made me realize that shelling out a bit of green to help someone who is doing actual work is not in our culture.We only help people, who shout God,or scare us etc and then in turn we want the God to help those in need.
While travelling from Jaipur to Delhi,it struck me that there are a few situations where wallets come out faster than the gun of a gun slinger from the wild west and a few where the wallets stick like a chewing gum in someones hair and i was lucky to experience all of them on a single journey.
In my compartment of 8,there was ,a sikh old man,I said sikh not sick,he kept muttering prayers throughout the whole journey.I imagined turning to him and saying i know you are scared but don't worry the plane won't crash and we'll be safe, as goddammit we are in a train ! A generic family,parents and 2 kids (yep the one that gets really annoying the moment you spot them in the parking lot and you just wish they don't end up on the same train) and a bunch of college students.After i was done analyzing them (new way to say, judging them) i blocked off the environment around me and started reading a book.
Out of nowhere,not exactly out of nowhere, but i was startled.A beggar appeared and screamed "SHANI MAHARAJ",on top of his voice leaving Robert Plant singing in my headphones feeling inferior to this holy man's voice,he extended his hands out to collect money.Looking at us as if we were obligated to pay him now.Meanwhile, not long before these two magic words were about to finish coming out of his mouth, all the passengers had already reached out for their wallets in that classic move that men do, i don't want to get up, so i'll do the fart maneuver to take out the wallet,so wallets were out and everyone paid 2 Rs. and as some of us, not so God fearing human beings out there would have experienced ,he stood there waiting for me to pay up. I did not flinch.Everyone's eyes leaking with feeling of disgust as if i had no compassion towards fellow human's suffering and or for God.
Taking me on a guilt trip to pay didn't work,but foolishly enough,i started smiling.I could feel them being disgusted with every second that passed.But the smile was not because of me getting away without paying (now i am the person the first paragraph of this article defined).But because in my stupid mind, thoughts like these popped up,what if i had said in a very calm voice "Atheist in the house,bitches !" (like zooey deschanel from the series New Girl) or what if i just stood up and shouted 'SHANI MAHARAJ' .Will they just take out their wallets again.No i suppose ! .So this has nothing to do with SHANI(God),or not so to being poor too and i didn't like half-hearted efforts by him and the false advertising that it is in the name of God.So no paying up the these extra charges that Indian Railways encourages.
I wondered,is it the guilt of all the evils that they have done relative to their holy teachings.So they try to wash them away in 2 Rs. by powers of SHANI MAHARAJ vested in the beggar or by taking a dip in Ganga once in every few years.The Indian way of starting with a clean slate of sins or is it compassion.And why does it goes away in situations where it is actually needed.
While all that was going through my head, a eunuch(shemale/transsexual) came in and i reckon that it was a scam between "SHANI MAHARAJ" and him/her to make every one pay.( i don't know the politically/grammatically correct way to address them) .So,he/she singles me out "Ey ! Chikne Tere Bache Sukhi Rahenge,Tera Parivaar Khush Rahega" (Ey!Clean Shaved,your kids will be blessed,your family will be blessed) the people looked at me bit satisfied,but this time around a bit deterrent to pay and avoiding eye contact. Then it happened, the event every Indian Railways traveler should experience once in his/her life. (Let's name the shemale ,Mohan) Mohan threatened me to pull up his saree and show me his dick ! (Yeah let that sink in) If i don't pay him then and there.Although i'm no stranger to a dick but to a stranger's dick ,YES ! and considering the height that we sit at in the trains,the show of dick flailing ,would have been precisely at the height where my face happens to be.Seeing this my terrified wallet came flying out to the rescue,trembling and slipped out a 10 to Mohan,thanks to my wallet's quick thinking,a life long trauma was averted.
The two incidents made me think why do we pay,is it the love of God,need of blessing or just the Fear of Dick (the latter did it for me).
After a while,I see a kid with a broom and a big plastic bag filled with garbage,cleaning the aisles first and then standing with his hands out for a brief moment in every compartment for the hand outs.But he was so fast to retract his hand and move on to next,as if he knew that nobody is paying attention. How degrading it is to not look in the eye of a person while he stands with his hands out is impossible for me to even imagine.He moved to the next and repeated the same and none of them payed.So think about it he did actual work that the railway staff fails to do on a regular basis and no one paid him,I thought i wish i could give him a sound business advice that don't work ! Just say "SHANI MAHARAJ" and they'll pay you as these fools love God and fear the dick.Although i think i saw three of them standing together later.
(After thought: does that capital g rule in English to address God applies to me or not)
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